Unfortunately no one tells you what to do with your heart. That is still somewhat broken. Time can heal wounds. And mine are definitely healed. Now it is on to the part of life I find very confusing. Dating again. This time around with a daughter. I am oblivious to flirtation. I am blunt and I think people should be blunt with me. It would be refreshing, actually, for a guy to say, "I find you attractive, I would like the chance to get to know you better, may I have your number?" I would do it. It is short and to the point and does the job quite nicely.
Over the last year going to church I haven't invested much of myself in the "community" of the thing. I go, I glean, I go home. Having a small baby constrains your time, especially if you are taking care of her alone. A little over a month ago my mom came to visit. She happened to notice the same nice gentleman that waves to me as I leave every Sunday. Her question was, "Do you think he is really that happy to be serving in the parking lot or do you think he is just putting on that smile?" I told her that every time I see him he is smiling like that so I think he truly is happy just to serve others. That is when she suggested I try to find a guy like that. Someone who is already serving the church. I told her I was pretty sure he was married, like many of the men in my age range. Two weeks after she left I saw him in the parking lot, parking cars on the children's side (where I usually park) of the church. I took X in to her class room and went back out to find him. I told him what my mom had said about smiling and told him that his efforts were not unnoticed. I mean I like it when people tell me the little details I try to help out with are appreciated.
He introduced himself. I introduced myself. Every Sunday since then he says hello and calls me by name. I also say hello and call him by name. I know he is just friendly with everyone and probably good with names. He asked me how my mom was doing, I tell him little polite conversation tid bits about me. He remembers them. (WHAT?) For the last two weeks I have been wondering if I should express that I am interested in him. I know that he has children, he doesn't wear a wedding ring so I guess he isn't married (that is something I will ask very soon). So he has been telling me little tid bits about himself as well.
This week X and I played in the foyer at church after the service (let's face it it's cooler in there and she gets to practice on steps, which we don't have at the house.) After the worship started for the second service I decided we should face the heat (literal heat, not figurative) and head home. He was parking cars in the lot near my car and as we were leaving he was trying to talk to X. She was sitting in my arms funny because she was trying to escape so she didn't have to leave. He ask if she was sleeping I said no, she just didn't want to go home yet. He told her "you have to go home now, you have to listen to your mommy, you have a great mommy." (I will take flattery, thank you.) He said, "and if you listen there might be some Braum's in it for you." I told him I took her there yesterday and she didn't seem to be diggin' the food. He says, "Well next time we go to Braum's, I'll just have to help you finish your food." I laughed politely. I didn't really want to leave either. He does have a great smile. But we had things we needed to take care of, like buying some bug spray so that I don't get eaten alive when I go to hang clothes on my newly strung clothes line. (yea). He looks at me and says, "I guess we'll see you in a few days then, (Inner monologue: "Here's my number if you want to see us sooner than that.") I am doing everything I can out here, you know."
It didn't occur to me until later, the way he said what he said. Next time "we" go to Braum's . . . wait, did he just ask us out? I guess that means it's my turn. Remember, I like to be blunt we'll see how far that gets us. I will report how it goes.
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