Heat Wave . . .

In case anyone nearby wondered, it is still June.  The weather for the last few days has hit 100 or higher without the index and obviously higher still with it.  Thurday's forecast is 101, Friday 100, Saturday 100, Sunday 96 and 20 % chance of rain.  Somehow I think the rain will evaporate before it even gets to our level in the atmosphere.

More than a week ago I discovered that my central heat and air unit is entirely on it's last leg.  The $2,000 I spent having them put in new return duct work basically went down the drain.  It was a tough call to make but if it had worked it would have been great.  As the weather started heating up I find out my conditioning side of the unit is giving up all together.  The repair man says, "Fixing it is going to cost around the same as (a back up measure like a window unit) and will probably still go out on you within a short amount of time."  That would be ok if it weren't 15 days to the end of the month and there weren't many more dollars than that.  I was hoping this heat would be more of a short wave than a tall one but it is hitting hard and not really letting up anytime soon.  Again it is still June and probably going to get worse.  What ever it feels like outside, it feels like it is 20-30 degrees hotter inside.  I have one window I can open, the rest had been painted shut by the previous owner.  (On a side note - he can paint the windows shut but he can't caulk around the panes?)  And trying to get them open would be next to insane in this heat.  

I have been so disturbed by this that every thought from, "what is there I can do" to "I am packing up and going back to the mountains" has run through my head.  Mom has helped out with some money.  If I'd asked her for enough to buy a window unit she would have sent it but I  have yet to ask.   I finally settled on cashing out my IRA rollover from my two years in Knoxville and then trying to find a unit to put in today.  

Naturally I am behind the curve on this so finding a reasonably priced one on short notice is difficult but I managed to find one that should be in tomorrow at ACE Harware, just down the street from my house.  I used some of the money mom sent to buy another fan making it 2 box fans and 2 stand fans.  It only helps a little because you can hardly call 95 degrees a cool breeze.  Supposedly they have my name and number and are supposed to let me know as soon as they arrive at the store.  (Why do I think that is going to go south quickly?)  I pleaded with their sense of dignity and let them know I have a small child and no a/c so this is vital for me.  I am going to be spending most of this evening trying to find a small unit to put in my small window in the baby's small room and hopefully that will be my back up incase I find nothing tonight.

That is the hardest part though.  Not the finding of a small unit it is dealing with the fact that X is vulnerable to the heat.   Two nights ago she was warm enough that she was breathing fairly quickly for being asleep so I grabbed her and the fan and went outside where it had cooled off by a few more degrees than it had in my house and there was a slight and warm breeze.  The sad thing for her is that she also has loose poo problems that have given her a diaper rash from hades.  The poo is not a heat related issue (as I was told by my doctor) so we will also be buying the regimine he suggested for healing the rash and solving the loose poo.  When you have diaper rash it is hard to sit still when you are being held and standing out on the porch together was not helping that situation.   Finally her breathing slowed down enough that I felt better about taking her back in the house.  I put all of the fans on her and she seemed to do well enough to sleep ok.  Of course I had to change her in the middle of the night and keep pushing the fluids a couple of times.  At this point I am not even stressing out about my lack of sleep, I am just concerned about her getting enough sleep and being cool enough.  I am going on my third day of restlessness from checking to make sure she is breathing ok to guaging how much sweat she has produced and filling bottles with milk and water to make sure she is getting enough fluid.  

Tonight is going to be rough on her as well since we will be getting in and out of the car constantly looking for a window unit in this city that is within the price range of what I can pay.  I will be putting her food together and hoping she will eat it.  When the baby has poo problems like this the doctor says her diet needs to be Banana, Rice Cereal, Applesauce, and Toast (BRAT).  For the rash she will get corn starch.  And push fluids (except milk).   This is where I feel inadequate as a mom.  Other mom's know this stuff - I don't.  Fortunately I have excellent support behind me so I get to learn this stuff.  Right now I have to focus on finding a window unit.  How big is that stupid window anyway?   

New, new, new . . .

All last week a very kind man has been helping me with my jungle.  It has been whacked down to what you see here.  In Oklahoma the hottest part of the day is between 4 and 6 pm.  He was mowing during that period.  The next day had to go to the doctor because he dehydrated.  Yes, as you can imagine, I felt horrible about that.  Yesterday he came by and started the raking process.  It hasn't been really raked and taken care of for a couple of years so once again it is a tough process.  I am making sure he has plenty of water as he is working in my yard.  I am considering buying him a camelback so that he can stay hydrated while he works as a thank  you.  When my jungle is a yard again I will post pictures of him.  I  can not thank him enough for the work he has done.

 

For my gardening efforts.  I was really hoping that something would come of this plant.  I am getting very discouraged as the fucsia is dwindling quickly in the heat despite my best efforts to keep it watered.  I hope it holds out until I can get some plant food.  Hopefully that will perk it up.  As for this little guy, I guess you are supposed to see as many fruits as you see blooms but I will be happy if this one makes it.  My rose has sprouted another bud.  I all but thought it had given up too.  Maybe my thumbs aren't so black any more, maybe they are just brown - ish.

Did you know this is where your fingers go?  So much of what she is doing these days is visual and it is hard to catch her with the camera doing the things that make me smile the most.  It'd be one thing if she was only putting one finger up there but I suppose she's mastered that.  Now she is going for the two finger dig.  And really it's not that she is digging anything out, she just likes how it feels to have her fingers in her nose . . . at the same time.

My favorite little face she makes.  This is not a pucker, however, this is an expression that can mean anything from "no, I am not liking that idea" to "yes, mama, I'd like that very much."  She just gets really happy when she can get you to do this back.  As with many things she is working on.  If she does it . . . she wants you to do it too . . . so she can laugh at you.  

We are working on switching her from a bottle to a cup.  Some days she is loving the cup and some days she wants all her fluids in a bottle.  One way or another she has bypassed the tradition of the milk "mustache" in favor of a milk "beard".  I say, way to forge  your own path.

Banana Nut Cheerios in the tea cup - milk in the bottle.  One of these days she will get the two together but she doesn't want them in the same recepticle at the same time. For now . . . 

Also my central heat and air went out.  It is a Goodman machine and just about everything that can be replaced on it has been and it still isn't working.  It will be the beginning of July before I can get a window unit but until then it has been a challenge to come up with inexpensive ways to "cool off".  This is her first experience with freeze pops.  Up until now she has been really offended by anything cold in her mouth.  Cold milk, ice cream . . . anything.  Through the heat of our home she is learning the value of cool things.  Now if only I could figure out what gets freeze pop stains out of baby clothes.

I was really hoping to get by with not having ever given my child soda.  The challenge to this is I am not the only one who feeds her.  I have accepted that because I have to work that I cannot be there to monitor all day the things she consumes but I wish someone would own up to having given her her first taste of soda.  I can't have one in any for at the house with out her being very upset that I am not sharing it with her.  She grabbed my empty cup out of the cup holder on the end of the couch, played with it and tossed it up on the couch.  In this picture you see her standing on the very tips of her toes trying to reach the cup.

She did get some help reaching it.  But I show you this to say, she knows how to use a straw and is getting better at it all the time.  Most of the liquid even stays in her mouth now and that makes me very happy.  In a few more weeks I might just get rid of her bottles all together, just as soon as I get a window unit to cool down the house.

On an unrelated note.  I am seriously thinking about buying a new line and braving the bird poo by setting up the clothes line.  If nothing else I won't have to worry about the dryer heating up the house when I finally get it cooled down to a bearable state.  Any tips on hanging the line?

To start out.

Toddler on the brain is where I am at in my life.  The first year of your child's life is the all consuming fire.  I can see how relationships get strained in the first year.  I suppose that is why I am glad that I am not in one.  I can tell you right now if X's father was living with us right now we would be fighting all the time.  We have widely varying ideas on how to raise children.  Yes I knew that before we created life but I really thought he would walk away.  It is not a commentary on what kind of person he is, I just thought the reality of her would be more than he was willing to handle.  It's more like I hoped he would.  I don't think it would be right to air all the laundry so let me leave it at he visits her but still doesn't know the difference between a sleepy cry and a "I just cut my arm off." cry.

I guess I am starting this blog for the purpose of expressing my parenting ideas - seeing if they work - going back to look at my ideas and explaining to myself why things worked or didn't work.  

This blog is also going to have some information about my experience as a mentor to a teenager.  I have never been one before but someone I know fairly well trusts me to influence her child in as positive a manner as possible.

I am working on starting a lawn from scratch with seed just to see if I can make it work.  Along with that are the renovations that I think will enhance my property that may take years to finish but will hopefully leave some important information in the wake.

As a fourth purpose to this blog I want to find out what it takes to really help a community get off the ground.  My area is suffering from isolation from each other as neighbors and as a result the crime is increasing.  I will explore my ideas on how to pull it all together.

Of course all of this is to teach my daughter how easy it is to isolate yourself and how important it is to be involved and engaged with your community.  Bear with me as I describe life as a single mom of one toddler, a member of a struggling community and trying to be one person who makes a difference in the world, even if it is only felt for four square city blocks.