Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Nothing is going my way

She says, "Momma, I'm scared." Yesterday, she was just about out of her mind with boredom when one of our neighbors came for a visit. They had been playing upstairs. Another kid came over for a while. He left. We feed the first kid. About 6 bites into dinner, the second kid comes back and lures the first kid out the door with candy. Xyla is upset. So we talk about the dynamics. I tell her it wasn't right for the second kid to take the first kid away. There are just too many factors to navigate here. But I let my daughter get a feel for validation. Today, she writes me a note. The note says the same thing she has been saying since our talk yesterday. She doesn't like it when friend 2 takes her other friends away. So I tell her that right now she has a choice. She may continue to feel that way or she may choose to forgive friend 2. I tell her that if she makes the other friends choose her or each other she should be prepared to lose two friends. If she chooses to forgive, I will go with her to talk to friend 2 about what is happening. She decides to forgive but she is scared of the confrontation. I told her everyone is. But practicing this skill will help her be good at resolving differences. Not only that but she will learn how to stand up for herself, which is very important. Tonight, she starts thinking about all the points she wants to make. Tomorrow, we go talk to friend 2 and his mom. Pray that God gives us restorative words to help bring friends back together.

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