Can't take your eyes off 'em. Not even for a second.

I really don't know how to gauge this but I am sure every mom thinks it at one time or another. Is my kid really more energetic than other kids? On one hand I really hope so because it means there isn't something horribly wrong with me. By the way, if I didn't get something done and I promised to, it is likely late because I ran out of run after because of my kid. I would venture to say, however, that my kid could play your kid under the table. In drinking terms that is, my kid could wear your kid out and still have energy for days.

Here, as the big kids were working hard editing the workout video, Xyla managed to find a pile of wood that she relocated from outside and began stacking end to end up the wall. It was tall enough that it was a little precarious. Then Fuzzy suggested it was times like that he really wanted to make the "sculpture" permanent by fastening it to the wall. Then she would always be able to say "see that, I made that." I think we can just take pictures and save the wall.

One second you think they are ready to go somewhere. Then you run into your bedroom to "grab something" you forgot and you come back out and they are sans pants and practically in a whole new outfit ready to fish.

By the time you get them re-dressed for whatever it was you were trying desperately not to be late for, they are insisting that you leave their implements in a very exacting location. If it isn't in it's specific spot they will throw a fit until it is, which means you are going no where fast. Some fights are worth fighting and some are not. Especially if you don't have to look at it until much later in the day.

You can't leave them alone with the computer because if you do there is usually a high magnification that you can't figure out how to fix but you know it is fixable because you've done it at least five other times. Or there are 100 pictures of various funny faces they made in the photobooth function of your Mac. Sometimes you come around the corner and realize they have managed to click their way to things they should never, ever see. Like that there is a Hershey, Penn. And they make Hershey's chocolate there. CHOCOLATE! MOMMY, I WANT CHOCOLATE! (yes, she takes after me.)

Then there are the days when you come out of your room from folding and putting away laundry to find the entire contents of your purse strung across the living room along with the entire contents of her toy box, her closet and she has got a good start on the pantry shelves. Those are the days you want to just go back in your room and close the door and pretend for a few minutes that it never happened. But you realize that your kid is still out there and there is flour in your pantry.

At some point it is ill advised to leave them alone at night too. The evening of this picture I laid next to her as she fell asleep in her room. I got up and went to my room. The next morning the bathroom light was on, there was pee in the potty and this is definitely not where I left her.

I asked one of her teachers if it seemed like she had more energy than the other kids. She said yes and that it spiked in the afternoon right after their naps. Frosty even was a little amazed that she was blasting both engines last week from 8am to 5pm before she finally started getting cranky. (No nap!)


Now everyone knows why I am always exhausted. I talked to one of her other teachers and asked her the same question about Xyla's energy level. She said she doesn't really worry about the energetic kids who will listen and participate when she tells them it is time to settle down and read a story or some other quiet activity. Even though Xyla seems overly energetic to me, that I don't need to worry about ADD.


 I wasn't even worried about that. I just wanted to get some idea of how much activity I needed to get her to burn up some energy so she will go to sleep at night. We got a baseball and mit. Tonight it is supposed to snow. Come on winter I am waiting on you to help me wear this kid out. Anytime you want to find out whose kid has more energy you can bring your kid over and we'll let them play it out. Which ever kid drops first . . . loses. It will be fun for everyone.

A Word about the A&SQ

I knew it was a mistake to say what I said when Xyla first started the daycare center here in UT. I told them that I was concerned about her speech development because I wasn't sure if she could hear properly. And it has been a snowball since then. They give you what is called the Ages and Stages Questionnaire and tell you just to fill it out and bring it back. What ever. The problem is they don't really give you instructions about how to accomplish the thing. What is considered and "almost" what is considered a "yes" what is considered "not yet". Turns out what I was marking not yet should probably have been an almost and some of the things I knew she could do but she wasn't doing them when we were filling out the paper out of obstinance. There are really only about two skills differences between the the 36 month and 42 month questionnaire and 90% of it she could do from 18 months on. Now that I know how to count things and how it gets scored I think this report will be more accurate to her ability. It is the "report card" that I have trouble with. It says she needs to work on "zipping and snapping her pants or jacket". She knows how. She just doesn't like to. Every morning she demands that if she is going to wear a coat that it not be zipped or buttoned. I have seen her zip it up when she gets cold enough and sometimes she asks for my help getting it started but then insists on doing the rest herself. Now is that a sometimes, not yet or yes? I count it as a yes.

The report says that she needs to work on jumping six inches forward using both feet at the same time. I got a note on my door a few days ago threatening to fine me $50 per incident if I didn't get her to stop jumping causing noise ordinance problems for my downstairs neighbor. The kid jumps all the stinking time. We hop from one place to another outside all the time. So I know that is bogus.

It says she needs to work on her problem solving skills such as when a chair is stuck under the table that she needs to move the chair or choose another instead of screaming about it. She has always been pretty good at this but the way I taught her to do it is clearly not what they are teaching. When she gets frustrated with something at home I calm her down and ask her how she could fix it. Usually she can figure it out on her own and facilitate. I suppose I should share that with them but the "cry until it happens" attitude she has now she picked up from the other kids there. She didn't do that at her previous daycares and she only started throwing tantrums at home in the last 3 months.

It says she needs to work on full sentence structure. As an example they write, "I want to play with the ponies, please." She is very responsive to the way people around her talk. The fact that her speech has developed the way it has in three months tells me her delays had to do with the other kids at her previous daycare were all younger than her and didn't speak well. That it really had little to do with her hearing. She was using full sentences when my mom brought her home a few weeks ago and most of the time she uses them at home. Sometimes she gets lazy with it and drops some pronouns but she is using contractions like a champ. For instance she just said, "there's a sticker on your foot." See, complete sentences.

It also says she should work on letter like marks with her crayons or pencils. On this point I am curious. The A&SQ asks you to have the child draw a straight horizontal line, a straight vertical line, a circle and a 't' shape. I thought about it and those are all the shapes that represent letter like marks. Nearly every letter of the alphabet has one or a combination of those shapes. She makes them just fine, the only letters she is interested in drawing are the ones associated with her name. Xyla. Except for the y she does pretty well. She is only three though and she not only knows the difference between a pentagon, hexagon and octagon but she can draw each. She also knows there is a difference between and octopus and a squid - although she does perceive that line to be in the ability to ride a bicycle. The comment that was made today was the concern that she was still holding her crayons with her fist instead of the way you would when writing with a pencil. She has always held writing utensils the way they are supposed to be held since she first picked one up. It wasn't until we got here that she started drawing fist-like. I think that is a habit she has learned by watching the other kids because if you give her a pen she'll hold it right - maybe it's the medium. I don't know.

On the positive reports side it says she can put her jacket on, climbs stairs up and down using alternating feet. Yep, yep, yep. She can string beads, make circles with crayons, do puzzles (20 piece ones and all the A&SQ requires is that the puzzle be 6 pieces), can name body parts when they are pointed to, and follow simple directions. My response to that - yeah, since she was a year and a half.

Now the questionnaire itself. There is one question on there that says when you ask the child their name do they answer with their first and last names? Um, no! Xyla has a hyphenated last name and I really haven't decided how I am going to deal with that just yet so I don't really use her last name or mine in conversation. Everyone we know only calls us by our first name so I wouldn't expect her to use it when referring to herself. How do you score that?

This is the perpetual question though. Do I voice my concerns and risk having my child treated like she is far behind which causes more problems than it solves. They start working to help her do remedial milestones when she should be learning things that challenge her. Or do I keep my mouth shut and hope that if she needs help she will get it. I think I will have to talk with her teacher and let her know that the only part of Xyla's development that I was concerned about was her speech development and that she probably should be evaluated by a professional other than myself (I have no training in childhood development) or her who typically deals with kids on an average level. No, she is not doing what the other kids are doing, because she is past that. I keep trying to look up the A&SQ's for the next several stages but the questionnaires are all very similar, only adding one or two new skills like "can your child server herself" yes, since she started helping me cook in the kitchen when she was just over 2.

I am starting to dislike charts and questionnaires and . . . oh, heaven help us when we get to standardized tests. Even though I don't know a lot about childhood development, I suppose I should trust my instincts a bit more. She is getting more education in her first three years than some people get their whole lives.

I Know Why She Loves Him.

When she wakes him up in the morning, he looks at her like she is the only girl in the world. She knows he is admiring the sassy sway of her red hair as she heads downstairs.

He buys the best foods and feeds her lovingly every morning before he heads off to work. He doesn't judge her for lying around the house all day. He looks genuinely happy to see here every day when he comes home. He runs his fingers gently through her hair and sometimes gives her a sweet, soft kiss right in the spot she appreciates.

He sometimes doesn't realize that she wants his attention when guests are visiting for the evening but all she has to do is brush his hand gently with her body and he reaches out to her and reassures her that he hasn't forgotten about her.

When she needs time to herself he opens the door and lets her take all the time she needs. He is very patient and understanding with her. They have been together for many years. This relationship just works for both of them.

But I could be wrong . . . .

It could be that she thinks he smells like bacon. Finally got Jasmine on camera, but only because she was a bit distracted.

Saturday Download

Ahhhhh! There it is. Winter. Real, fluffy, cold . . . winter. Xyla saw this and said, "SNOW! I LOVE SNOW!" I said, "I know you do." She said, " We go for a walk, NOW!" I told her we should probably get dressed first.

Once I got her to stop long enough to put clothes on her we headed out the door. She went down the stairs and didn't walk on any of the sidewalks that she didn't have to. She was in the snow all the way and more of a run than a walk.

Then she saw random snow sitting on the benches out in the court yard and had to plunge her hands into it . . .

. . . and wipe it all off.

She was somewhat satisfied with the way the snow was sticking and I showed her how to make a snowball. I did not, however, have to show her what you do with a snowball. Apparently that comes automatically and right in the gut if you aren't paying attention.

Then she told me to "stay right there". She ran away from me quite a ways and dropped down and started making a snow angel. She is so good at those. She asked me to help her out (so as not to wreck the angel) then demanded that I make one of my own. So I did. I was rather impressed that I remembered the formula for helping yourself up and out of the angel so as not to break it and then . . .

I turned around and she said, "I am kicking your angel." AWWWWWHHHH! Man. But then . . .

She volunteered to make a new one and told me to kick hers. Now we are even-ish.

Labor Day Weekend

All in all I think we had a pretty good visit with Ninny and Papa. I got this dress. At first I didn't want to wear a dress at all but within an hour I was loving it. I even posed for pictures.

Just a quick note about our weekend.

We took off straight after work and made it to Ninny and Papa's house pretty quickly. We only stayed up a little late but Saturday was going to be a big day. We drove over the mountain and picked up some vegetables. Then we stopped at an estate sale in an old hardware store. I got a new book.

When we got back I decided that I needed to climb the tree in the front yard. Lucky for me, my mommy encourages tree climbing, especially when the climbable part is no more than 3 feet off the ground. As it turns out this is the perfect height for me as well.

I am not a fan of spider webs and there were a couple of them in this tree. Also lucky for me, my mommy doesn't mind sweeping them away for me.

I found a shovel my cousin left in the tree and started pretending that I was in the movie "The Sword in the Stone".

Mommy says I just may be too cute for my own good. I saw Papa come home from work and I screamed, "I'm over here, Papa. I am in the tree with a shovel and a ladder."

Papa let me partake in the time honored tradition of removing the boots after work. Mommy swears she used to do this too. Papa has big feet.

Then I started in to playing with him. I didn't let up all night.

Papa had the most awesome idea. He said we'd be roasting marshmellows. I know what they are but I am not sure why he started this fire.

Then Papa squished two huge mallows on a stick and put them over the fire. I am a quick learner.

So I grabbed the other stick and a huge mallow and put them together. I swiped my mallow through the fire once.

I like my mallows extremely rare. Mommy put one in the fire until it was a toasty brown color and really squishy in the middle but I didn't even want to try it. She says one day she will teach me how to toast the perfect mallow, but I felt like mine was perfect just the way it was.

Mommy told Papa that if he was going to give me mallows that he had to stay up with me until I crashed. He asked Ninny to put on another pot of coffee. I ran it off though. When it got too dark to do laps around the yard . . .

I went inside and colored my heart out. I was able to spell my own name. We have been working on it in school.

Monday when we woke up, it was cool enough that I needed a jacket. I grabbed that and my "wui-tar" because we had a long trip ahead of us.

Of course the only fair I've ever been too was small and they didn't have a whole lot there so it was quite a big deal to go to the fair in Blackfoot.

Ninny rode the carousel with me. I love my Ninny and I made sure to tell my mommy that on the way home.

I got to ride the color worm roller coaster with mommy. If you think seeing her in this tiny car is funny, you should have seen her try to get out of the plane ride.

This was officially my favorite ride though. I want to go on it again and again.

At the petting zoo I got to feed the goats and sheep. The puppies were all too sleepy so I didn't get to hold one. Mommy said she wants to know why it is twice as much to buy a chihuahua as it is to buy a llama. She says you can at least eat the llama.

I got to pet this guy too. He has big, big feet.

Before when I was going to pet a goat there was a stranger holding it so I didn't want to. This time, I was ok with petting the animals. A few of them bowled me over. We had a pretty good visit.

POST 100

Stuck on post 99 for five months. How sad. It's not that I haven't had things to talk about . . . just not ready to talk about them just yet. So post 1oo, with it's writers block, shall pass unceremoniously. Thank you.

Oh, no you didn't.

For those of you out there who are vaguely unaware.  I am a slightly more conservative member of the free-range parenting movement.  I let my kid experience life.  I let her explore ways to help out.

For instance, just yesterday she decided she was big enough to help take the trash to the bin on the curb.  I feel, as a parent, that I should be there if she needs help (like hefting the bag into the bin that is obviously taller than she is) but I should let her choose whether she drags the bag of refuse down the right or left side of the car to get it there.  I mean, really, there isn't a right an wrong way to take out the trash.  There isn't a right and wrong way to load the dishwasher.  There isn't a right and wrong way to put your clothes in the hamper.  These are all things my daughter is excited to be able to help with and I am not about to do anything to hamper that willing attitude.  Since I left the nest, I have never lived with another person who didn't have to be nagged to help with chores at least once.  That is three sets of grown women as roommates and an ex boyfriend who would rather . . . well.  I will tell you that story someday, if you ask.

This is a time in my little girl's life when I have to encourage independence.  There are a number of things I would like her to go to college knowing how to do herself: cooking, saving, growing stuff.  Take the above picture for instance.  On the side of the sink you'll notice a missing (what was a half roll) of toilet paper.  You'll notice her hand nearest the camera is wet and what you can't see is that she is holding part of the paper roll the tp comes on.  In the potty is the other piece of that tube and on the floor over there is a slight smear of poop.  

Under that tube piece that is in the potty, though, is a larger piece of poo.  This is a huge milestone for us today.  She went into the bathroom on her own, pulled down her own pants (et al) climbed up on the potty seat and dumped a big ol' . . . in the pot.  She hollered at me to help her get cleaned up . . . obviously after she decided it was a bigger job than she could handle, but still.  It won't be long before I don't have to worry about random presents on the carpet.  If you've been following (hi, to the new person I am not sure if I know or not) this is the most glorious day of potty training yet.  I know I am a long way from this being consistent but she is trained at night and mostly consistent during the day.  I think I am going to cry as I type . . . she's getting so big.  But, she is still an only child.  Who only has a dog to play with.  She is also about to, in the not so distant future, spend two days in a car.  

Now, I know that in Oklahoma 50 degrees is analagous to 0 degrees, but where we are going - it actually is 0 degrees . . . in March.  I get that people in my neighborhood are aware that I am a single mom but folks, that does not mean that I am stupid.  Why do people think that?  It's not like there are politicians who are actively perpetuating the idea that single moms are poor, trailer trash that don't know how to keep from having children and are a drain on society or . . . wait.  I guess I should expect people to feel that way.  Unless they asked, they would have no way of knowing that I am an educated single mother with a full time job that provides ample insurance who has never taken a dime of help from anyone, not even her child's father and is currently pursuing her master's.  But that means someone would have to come and talk to me and they don't. 

That brings me to today and this last picture up there.  Xyla was squealing while she was playing with the dog outside today.  Running around the yard having a grand old time.  She was trying to keep him from eating her crackers.  As you can see she was wearing long sleeves, long pants and her shoes.  While it wasn't freezing, it was a bit chilly.  To be honest, she is not a child who will tolerate being cold.  When I felt her skin she was not cold (even her fingers).  She was running in and out of the house.  This is a common occurance where I am from.  Once it's warm enough (over 10 degrees) kids play outside.  When it hits a 50 degree heatwave, they can go without a coat.

The door bell rings.  I closed the back door just a bit so the dog didn't get out.  I honestly thought it was my neighbor bringing her kids over to play for a while so she had time to clean her house.  She was totally cool with her kids being outside too and she had just been out there in nothing but her house coat.  I open the door and it is actually the male neighbor from two doors down.  His wife had sent him over to ask me if I knew that my daughter was outside without a jacket.  

(Cricket)

(Cricket, cricket)

There are days when it is so hard to be polite.  I told him, thanks for his concern and that indeed I did know that she was out there.  I started to close the door but he continued - "you know my wife sent me over because she is kind of concerned that she is outside and it's a little cold and your little girl doesn't have a coat on.  Like he was going to stand there until I put a snow suit on her.  I said, the door is open unless she closes it so she has free range (hint, hint) to go out there if she wants and come inside if she gets cold.  I trust her judgement.  I know she doesn't have her jacket on but right here next to the house, where I am actually sitting just inside the door watching her play, the sun makes it quite a bit warmer than the air lets on.  Again, thank you for your (condescending) concern but she is just fine.  They must think I abuse my child, you know the way we play in the snow or enjoy it (read: stand in it) when the snow is falling.  It makes me want to go home even more.

So I write this post today hoping that I will not be getting a visit from child welfare on Monday.  I am not sure what my neighbors would do if they found out I was a Yankee.  I know, it's a term usually reserved for people from the northeast but honestly they don't have a word for northwesterners, it's like they think we only exist in fairy tales.