A Word about the A&SQ

I knew it was a mistake to say what I said when Xyla first started the daycare center here in UT. I told them that I was concerned about her speech development because I wasn't sure if she could hear properly. And it has been a snowball since then. They give you what is called the Ages and Stages Questionnaire and tell you just to fill it out and bring it back. What ever. The problem is they don't really give you instructions about how to accomplish the thing. What is considered and "almost" what is considered a "yes" what is considered "not yet". Turns out what I was marking not yet should probably have been an almost and some of the things I knew she could do but she wasn't doing them when we were filling out the paper out of obstinance. There are really only about two skills differences between the the 36 month and 42 month questionnaire and 90% of it she could do from 18 months on. Now that I know how to count things and how it gets scored I think this report will be more accurate to her ability. It is the "report card" that I have trouble with. It says she needs to work on "zipping and snapping her pants or jacket". She knows how. She just doesn't like to. Every morning she demands that if she is going to wear a coat that it not be zipped or buttoned. I have seen her zip it up when she gets cold enough and sometimes she asks for my help getting it started but then insists on doing the rest herself. Now is that a sometimes, not yet or yes? I count it as a yes.

The report says that she needs to work on jumping six inches forward using both feet at the same time. I got a note on my door a few days ago threatening to fine me $50 per incident if I didn't get her to stop jumping causing noise ordinance problems for my downstairs neighbor. The kid jumps all the stinking time. We hop from one place to another outside all the time. So I know that is bogus.

It says she needs to work on her problem solving skills such as when a chair is stuck under the table that she needs to move the chair or choose another instead of screaming about it. She has always been pretty good at this but the way I taught her to do it is clearly not what they are teaching. When she gets frustrated with something at home I calm her down and ask her how she could fix it. Usually she can figure it out on her own and facilitate. I suppose I should share that with them but the "cry until it happens" attitude she has now she picked up from the other kids there. She didn't do that at her previous daycares and she only started throwing tantrums at home in the last 3 months.

It says she needs to work on full sentence structure. As an example they write, "I want to play with the ponies, please." She is very responsive to the way people around her talk. The fact that her speech has developed the way it has in three months tells me her delays had to do with the other kids at her previous daycare were all younger than her and didn't speak well. That it really had little to do with her hearing. She was using full sentences when my mom brought her home a few weeks ago and most of the time she uses them at home. Sometimes she gets lazy with it and drops some pronouns but she is using contractions like a champ. For instance she just said, "there's a sticker on your foot." See, complete sentences.

It also says she should work on letter like marks with her crayons or pencils. On this point I am curious. The A&SQ asks you to have the child draw a straight horizontal line, a straight vertical line, a circle and a 't' shape. I thought about it and those are all the shapes that represent letter like marks. Nearly every letter of the alphabet has one or a combination of those shapes. She makes them just fine, the only letters she is interested in drawing are the ones associated with her name. Xyla. Except for the y she does pretty well. She is only three though and she not only knows the difference between a pentagon, hexagon and octagon but she can draw each. She also knows there is a difference between and octopus and a squid - although she does perceive that line to be in the ability to ride a bicycle. The comment that was made today was the concern that she was still holding her crayons with her fist instead of the way you would when writing with a pencil. She has always held writing utensils the way they are supposed to be held since she first picked one up. It wasn't until we got here that she started drawing fist-like. I think that is a habit she has learned by watching the other kids because if you give her a pen she'll hold it right - maybe it's the medium. I don't know.

On the positive reports side it says she can put her jacket on, climbs stairs up and down using alternating feet. Yep, yep, yep. She can string beads, make circles with crayons, do puzzles (20 piece ones and all the A&SQ requires is that the puzzle be 6 pieces), can name body parts when they are pointed to, and follow simple directions. My response to that - yeah, since she was a year and a half.

Now the questionnaire itself. There is one question on there that says when you ask the child their name do they answer with their first and last names? Um, no! Xyla has a hyphenated last name and I really haven't decided how I am going to deal with that just yet so I don't really use her last name or mine in conversation. Everyone we know only calls us by our first name so I wouldn't expect her to use it when referring to herself. How do you score that?

This is the perpetual question though. Do I voice my concerns and risk having my child treated like she is far behind which causes more problems than it solves. They start working to help her do remedial milestones when she should be learning things that challenge her. Or do I keep my mouth shut and hope that if she needs help she will get it. I think I will have to talk with her teacher and let her know that the only part of Xyla's development that I was concerned about was her speech development and that she probably should be evaluated by a professional other than myself (I have no training in childhood development) or her who typically deals with kids on an average level. No, she is not doing what the other kids are doing, because she is past that. I keep trying to look up the A&SQ's for the next several stages but the questionnaires are all very similar, only adding one or two new skills like "can your child server herself" yes, since she started helping me cook in the kitchen when she was just over 2.

I am starting to dislike charts and questionnaires and . . . oh, heaven help us when we get to standardized tests. Even though I don't know a lot about childhood development, I suppose I should trust my instincts a bit more. She is getting more education in her first three years than some people get their whole lives.